I meant to give myself a week’s vacation from this blog, from writing in general, but it ended up being a little longer. I suppose it is safe to say that my little ship is floating in unsteady waters these days, and my will to write has been suffering because of it.
On Friday, I started training for a new job. I gave my notice to my old job the same day, then headed off to a weekend of camp (I have more to say about camp later, hopefully tomorrow if I can manage a two day streak). It is bittersweet and also past time.
I am not heading into this new job with the same starry-eyed outlook I’ve had before. There are things that will be great about it—the mission for one thing, the learning opportunities for another. There are things that I will dislike as well—the pay probably, the commute inevitably. And I am anxious about the next two weeks, managing to start one job and end the other. I am very, very anxious about that.
I don’t really want to write about what’s happening right now because I’m scared and anxious, and mostly because I don’t have clear answers. I don’t know what the next two weeks will look like. I don’t actually know when I’ll have time to recover from this weekend (after next weekend’s next big event?). I don’t actually know how I’m going to manage everything or what it will look like, and I don’t like to write reports when I don’t have the answers.
What I can say is this: it feels as though enormous wheels are turning, as though the whole universe is shifting direction, and I hope, if I can manage to avoid being crushed in the process, that this new universe will be better than the one before.