I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but April has not been a good month for my blog posts. I’ve missed at least one a week it seems like, maybe more. Part of me feels guilty about this because I set a goal and now I’m not meeting it, but another part of me wonders whether the everyday format is still benefiting me. Maybe it’s not.
And maybe this is just another opportunity for me to get better at failing. Yes, I failed yesterday when I didn’t write a blog or a poem. And I failed last week for the same reason. And realistically, I’m going to fail next week too. It just keeps happening, and I’m not sure how to be okay with this.*
Maybe it is just a lull right now, and May will come around and be different again. Maybe I will revise down my standards and start writing more considered posts instead of posts about how I’m not writing. Maybe it’s a result of the job search sucking up more of my time, or maybe it’s something else. Probably it is a lot of things.
I don’t know why I’m writing this because I have no one to apologize to (except apparently myself). No one has been clamoring about why this blog hasn’t been updated, probably because it was updated two days ago so who notices a one day skip except the girl who skipped it?
This is all really just to say that maybe my goals are changing; maybe they need to be revised. And I’m not okay with it.
*Even though obviously this is an arbitrary goal that I made for myself, not something that anyone else is holding me to. It’s not like I’m missing anyone’s deadlines except for my own.