I bought shoes for the wedding yesterday, and sent H. my measurements for the dress. I was prepared to be annoyed about this because I am prepared to be annoyed about everything wedding related, not just H.’s wedding stuff, all wedding shenanigans annoy me. Then I remembered that I’d already saved over $900 to handle this wedding business so I don’t need to get all up in arms about $40 shoes and $10 shipping (actually, a very reasonable shoe price, just not for shoes I don’t want). It’s cool; I took care of this back in November. This is why saving money and being a planner is awesome.
To help lessen my wedding-rage (Boyfriend’s term), I’m following a friend’s advice to be the opposite of my usual planning self and be the “Lazy Bridesmaid” instead. Apparently, there’s always one (it’s possible I’ve been this one before by default). This is the bridesmaid who doesn’t respond to emails, doesn’t contribute to planning (horrors!), doesn’t attend all the requisite events, and all the other bridesmaids bond over hating her. When she told me about “Lazy Bridesmaid” this silly grin spread over my face, and for the first time I felt excited about the prospect of being in this wedding.*
Lazy Bridesmaid strategy is helping. I ordered my shoes at the last possible time. I sent my measurements at the last possible time. I don’t respond to group emails about whatever. I’m not going to the bachelorette party. I’m not helping plan it. I won’t be going to the bridal shower, whenever that comes up.
I’m happy for H., thrilled that she and her man want to make this important commitment to each other. I think it is great. It rocks. But being happy for H. doesn’t make me any better at weddings. Being the lazy bridesmaid and taking all these wedding shenanigans at my own pace (and with my own flask) is really helping me be a less obnoxious (to Boyfriend who is the only one who is really suffering here) part of this process.