Not Complaining

I’ve been in a particularly complain-y mood lately, and I can blame it on a lot of things, but I’m choosing to blame it on “stress.” What kind of stress could a semi-employed twenty-something possibly experience since it’s not like she has real job responsibilities to worry about? Well, having a brain that thinks thoughts like the last one is a pretty big stressor.

When I get stressed out (which is like every day lately), I send cryptic texts to my Boyfriend. He says they’re cryptic. I don’t know how it is possibly to interpret “everything is awful” in any other way except that everything is awful, but perhaps he means that my messages are hyperbolic instead of cryptic. Tomato tomahto. But he’s asked me to stop sending hyperbolic, cryptic texts in the middle of the day since there’s nothing he can really do about it, and he’s not sure what specifically I am upset about when I say “everything.” So I’m trying.

And today as I was driving to a school one exit before Mexico, I had a pretty important realization. I realized I need to stop complaining about things and start changing them. Upset about how much work I am doing for the Side-hustle versus what I am getting paid? Talk to them about it or stop doing it. Annoyed because I haven’t been writing lately? Stop doing things and write. I had one of those “it’s all in my power” moments, and I felt a little better.

Sure, that was immediately followed by the realization that tomorrow is Thursday and I will be leaving home at 7:30 a.m., not likely to return until 9 p.m. and how is that possible given that I am only partially employed?!

All I want to do right now is be home and be by myself and work on my own stuff. So if that is the case, I need to plan for that. I’m skipping book club tonight. I’m avoiding plans for Friday.

2 comments

  1. Almost thirty seven years ago I worked a job that paid probably minimum wage, I drove 68 miles one way, and my boss called me Marcy and I never corrected her on it. I cried every Wednesday because that was the one day I didn’t go in and I felt pretty worthless. I didn’t know what I know now, but here are my suggestions.
    1. Practice gratitude—write about the things that are going well in life, the simple pleasures.
    2. Do kindness for others, preferably people you are not close to or that you don’t know, but people that need help. You can’t count your job because that’s part of the problem.
    3. Investigate spirituality in some form or another. You are not your job, or your bank account, or even your accomplishments. I don’t know what the path is for you, but go beyond the 9-5, the check book, etc. I would suggest nonChristian writings for you.
    4. Listen to Brene Brown on TED talks. Or Debbie Ford on her website about lighting your internal flame.

    I work at dealing with self doubts every day. I work at knowing I am enough. I work at waiting….so you’re not alone. Get going!

  2. “Shoe….” is wise.

    Your ideas about developing a financial education course for middle school and teens remains a valuable project that could help many people claim their power. I hope you will rough out activities and ideas that could be printed for others to us, even if your current job is ‘not now…” at this point. bj

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s