Except that it was a little bit different. I was thinking, as I sometimes do, about gym memberships: how often I would go if I had one, how great it would be to have a personal trainer, how awesome my arms would look, the classes I’d take, etc.
And then I thought, “I’m never going to so much disposable income that I will have a gym membership.”
What I really meant by this statement was I am never going to have so much money that I won’t have to make tradeoffs on how I spend it. Basically, I will never have infinite wealth.
This is quite a leap from a gym membership, so follow along with me. Gym memberships are not expensive, but I don’t use a gym now and I’m pretty happy with my life. If I didn’t want to do some of the things I listed above, I would probably choose to do them without joining a gym, so this fantasy I have of having a gym membership is really a fantasy I have about having so much money that I buy all the trappings of bourgeois society.
And if I did somehow ever have so much money, I’d spend it on things like travel which would make a single gym membership impractical.
Also, I am not sure why I think about gym memberships which cost money when I am literally exercising for free in the beautiful (if chilly) outdoors, but this is how my brain works.
And I think this is a bigger thing than just gyms. This realization takes me out of dream world and back to reality. Even if I had more money than I could ever spend, it still wouldn’t be enough to do everything that’s out there. Choices have to be made. Things have to be prioritized. And really, that’s where the fun is.
And that fun can be had at any income, not just with imaginary riches. Making choices about how I spend my money—to go out for yet another dirty chai latte or to buy ten bags of frozen broccoli (this was another fantasy on my run—not something I’m saving for fabulous wealth, just a slightly steadier paycheck)—is how I live my values, and my values aren’t something I’m putting off until I can afford them.
In conclusion: I think really weird things when I run.