It has been 101 days since I began this little “blog everyday” project. I have messed up a few times, and I have to say that the hardest thing lately has been finding the motivation to keep it up. I have a hard time seeing through long term projects, particularly when the going gets rough, or even when the going just gets monotonous and I am not seeing enough progress. I would not have done well on the Oregon Trail.
What is there to say that is different than other days? I am behind as I feared I would be this month, but I can’t say that I’ve regretted my spending. I do regret today’s paycheck, but hey, I was paid. I sold more plasma today. I finished a book: Lost Girls, so I am one book closer to beginning some kind of self-study program. I ignored the Apartment Therapy Jan. Cure post because it said to take a media fast and I hadn’t written a poem or a blog post yet. Also haven’t exercised. Push ups come next.
It’s tough for me, being in the tunnel like this. It is tough not to look on Craigslist for another job, a different job, a better job, even though I am so happy at the job that I have. It is tough to believe that everything is moving at the right pace, quickly even, but that things don’t happen instantaneously. It is tough to know that I am not instantaneously made into a better person just because I thought of it. It is tough to put in the time. And it is tough to put in the words, particularly when the words are… this.
Ten push ups and bed. One day closer to the future.