Habits

I’m having a hard time with my habits lately, as in, I am learning they are not as formed as I had imagined. I am having a hard time remembering to write my morning pages, or rather, I am having an easier time justifying doing something else first and then forgetting. I am having a hard time developing this evening routine habit where I turn off my computer and go to bed by a certain hour. I am having a hard time with this no-sugar habit, as evidenced by Friday’s donut, Saturday’s party, and every day’s temptation since then. I am having a hard time with the blog habit as well. What do I have to say that matters?

So I adjust. I forgive skipping a day of my morning pages, but don’t allow two. I justify evenings that are not typical, but I haven’t gotten around to addressing the problem that no evening is typical. I am three days without sugar, and hey, that counts for something. And I am here, writing about it.

It’s hard too, to maintain good financial habits. It is harder to maintain them than it is to develop them. Habits, I am learning, are not really something that can be earned and then set on a shelf to be admired—they must be maintained. It is easy to skip writing down what I spend at the grocery store; easier still, to order a second beer after the first one. It’s not as difficult as it should be after a year of tracking my earning and my spending, to throw my hands up in the air and say “eff it” this month.

On the bright side, there is always tomorrow.

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