Day 0

Well it happened. 60 days into the year, and yesterday I failed to write a blog post or a poem. I don’t have a good excuse, there was plenty of time yesterday; I just put it off and put it off and finally forgot about it. Then I woke up this morning and thought, “oh shit.”

I feel pretty shitty about it, and all the usual negative thoughts are present, but the most important thing to do after failure is get up and try again. So here I am. A friend told me about a habit-forming technique she’s used, and I think I might adopt it with writing this blog. Every time she fails, the clock resets. So if the goal is to exercise every day, and she goes two weeks before she skips a day, she was at Day 14 and now she’s back to Day 0. This time, she has to make it longer than the last time. I made it 60 days before I skipped a day, so I have to make it to 61. That would be January 30, 2014, which is closer than it sounds.

What did I do with my Black Friday that I didn’t find time to write? If you guessed shopping, you’d be wrong. I did have an eye appointment yesterday, so I spent some money there, and I’ll be spending money on a new pair of frames and some contacts in the future, but I managed to make it through the day without acquiring any stuff, and that felt good. I was tempted, when we were having lunch near my favorite bookstore, to walk over and see if they had the planner I’ve been wanting in stock, but then I remembered it was Buy Nothing Day, and I didn’t even suggest it.

Boyfriend commented recently that I’ve seemed extra-ragey lately, and he’s right. When I started this blog, and when I first read Your Money or Your Life, I was interested in saving money because I had student loans, I hated my job, and I wanted to change my life. I have changed my life, and I’m a lot happier for it, but lately it hasn’t been enough. I want more radical change in my own life, and I want radical change in my community. I was asked recently how we can make global change, whether it’s worth it, what else we can do. I don’t have the answers to these questions. All I know is that I need to get started.

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